


Clarity and Cuddling

by experimentallyjs589 (jacksparrow589)



Series: Time and Tide [7]
Category: Anne with an E (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Cuddling, F/M, Kissing, Shirbert, and a kind of intense discussion about feelings, and bedsharing too!, and it's just kind of wonderful, communication saves the day, they're absolutely being THAT annoying couple
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-18
Updated: 2020-02-18
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:40:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22783435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacksparrow589/pseuds/experimentallyjs589
Summary: "Hey," Gilbert said softly, beckoning her in."Hi." Anne walked in, chewing on her lip as Gilbert closed the door behind them. "I wasn't sure... Well, first, I wasn't sure this was real, but Diana assures me that it is." She presented him with a carry out bag. "But then, I wasn't sure what one brings over as a 'sorry for massively overcomplicating our love lives for the past five years' dinner, but I thought pasta wouldn't go amiss?"After Anne's birthday, she and Gilbert have a talk about their relationship past, present, and future. And also, an impromptu breakfast date.Takes place the day after Tempest and Tranquility. Rated T for some swearing and some vague suggestiveness.
Relationships: Gilbert Blythe/Anne Shirley
Series: Time and Tide [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1598953
Comments: 24
Kudos: 110





	Clarity and Cuddling

**Author's Note:**

> There are nods all over the place in here, mostly to events from Swirling and Settling, so if you haven't read that yet, you might want to. Weirdly enough, it also references a story I haven't posted yet, but more about that in the end note.
> 
> If you want a mood song, "Here With Me" by Marshmello ft. CHVRCHES is the one for this one.

Gilbert was ready to answer the instant Anne's knock sounded on his door. (Not that he'd ever tell her, but he'd been trying to figure out what to wear up until a half hour before she arrived before realizing that he was overthinking the whole thing and jeans and a t-shirt would be just fine.)

Even though he was nervous, he couldn't help smiling as he opened the door. Anne smiled back, shy and a bit out of her element, herself. She looked dazed, like she hadn't slept much (she hadn't) and self-conscious, as though Gilbert's mind and heart might have changed (they hadn't for nearly five years, and they weren't going to now... or ever).

"Hey," Gilbert said softly, beckoning her in.

"Hi." Anne walked in, chewing on her lip as Gilbert closed the door behind them. "I wasn't sure... Well, first, I wasn't sure this was real, but Diana assures me that it is." She presented him with a carry out bag. "But then, I wasn't sure what one brings over as a 'sorry for massively overcomplicating our love lives for the past five years' dinner, but I thought pasta wouldn't go amiss?"

Gilbert put a hand over his eyes, chuckling. "Well, you've just given me all the proof I could want that this is real." _And reminded me just how completely in love with you I am, but maybe I should wait on that._ He took the bag and put it on the table, then went to grab plates and silverware.

Once they sat down, Anne admitted, "I thought I'd be too nervous to eat, but honestly, I'm starving."

"Well, clearly you planned to eat anyway, because I am not touching _this_ with a ten foot pole." Gilbert handed her a container of mushroom ravioli.

"One of these days, I'll bring you around," Anne joked.

Gilbert smirked. "I feel like that's going to very quickly turn into an unstoppable force/immovable object scenario," he replied, breaking into the pasta and meatballs Anne had procured for him.

Anne laughed and took a bite, savoring it. The two of them ate in relative quiet, exchanging only light pleasantries and hopeful looks. After they'd cleaned up, Gilbert led Anne the ten feet to the couch. He sat, pulling on their linked hands, and Anne somewhat gracefully flopped down next to him, tucking herself into his side instinctively and looping Gilbert's arm around her shoulders.

"So," she said after a full minute's silence, then paused again. "Gil, I'm so sorry. I'm an idiot. I was... I don't even know. Afraid? That I was just imagining how you looked at me? That I'd lose an amazing friend? That... that I wasn't... enough?"

Gilbert took her hands with the hand not around Anne's shoulder. "It wasn't just you. I thought I was imagining it, and then I worried that I was pushing too much even as I said nothing... You have no idea how many times I almost just came right out with it. I mean, I'm sure you can think of a few, but it's more than you know." He sighed. "And it gets so much worse because I made the exact wrong decision on my birthday. Instead of calling dinner with Winnie off and telling her I couldn't do it and then asking you back here to explain to me why on earth you'd blow that much money on my birthday gift when I was pretty damn sure I knew the answer... Ugh... I was such an ass."

Anne thought for a moment. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. This whole clearing the air, I mean. I don't know; I just... want to start fresh. But I guess there's too much there. And really, when I think about it, most of it is just embarrassing rather than painful. I just don't want you to feel bad." She paused for a moment. "Okay, this is going to sound cheesy as hell, so feel free to shoot it down like the stupid idea it is, but maybe we can... make up for some of those lost moments? Like, I dunno, that thunderstorm a couple years ago. I should have—" Anne leaned up to kiss Gilbert. He was surprised enough that by the time he realized he should be kissing her back, she'd pulled away. "Sorry, that was stupid. I—" she was cut off as Gilbert pulled her in for a much longer kiss.

Any tension that Anne was holding flowed away. Again, the warm-sunlight feeling coursed through her. This wasn't just what both of them wanted; this was _right_ ; correctness in its purest form. She brought a hand to his cheek, and that was all Gilbert needed to be assured that this moment, too, was entirely real. The urgency he'd been channeling was replaced with tenderness and security.

When they separated, he replied, "Not at all stupid. Cheesy in the extreme, sure, but that's not a bad thing right now." Gilbert grinned at Anne. "And for the record, that was how I should have greeted you tonight."

"Not how you should have said good night when we stayed in Montreal on that train trip?" Anne teased.

Gilbert shook his head, laughing softly. "Ah, no. That would have been a full-on, hallway-blocking makeout session if I'd gone for it."

Only half conscious of doing so, Anne lifted a hand to her lips. "Yeah, you don't really do things half-way." Her smile was almost secretive when she admitted, "I've always appreciated that about you."

"We're not so different that way," Gilbert pointed out. "Prissy Andrews said something once. 'You're like a different person around her. Took me forever to figure it out, but I finally got it: you open up to her. You're both intense, but she lets it out, and you hold it in.' She followed that up by ribbing me about both of us still somehow being too stubborn and scared to actually talk about what mattered."

Anne blinked. "She never talked to me about it. No—" she corrected herself. "She did once. Told me that our tenacity made us perfect for each other, and that she'd let me decide what to do with that information." Anne sighed. "And when it wasn't her, it was Diana, then Ruby, assisted by Moody, then _Josie_ , of all people." She grinned. "Even Marilla after that Thanksgiving—God, I'll never forget it—she said very plainly, 'For heaven's sake, Anne, how long are you two going to keep each other waiting?' I could not have turned redder if I'd tried!" She laughed and covered her face with her hands.

"At least she only spoke up once. Bash... He's as good as my brother, and he acts the part very well when it comes to this." He mimicked Bash's lilt with great exaggeration. "You look vexxed. Thinking about Anne again? She was over here looking for you earlier. Thought about telling her you were also looking for her just to get a reaction." He sighed. "I know that it's been plain as day to him from the moment I first talked about you that there would never be anyone else, but I texted him last night—"

"You did not!" Anne's eyes were wide.

"I did, and I'm very surprised he didn't text you; Mary must be reining him in. Anyway, you would not believe the string of texts I got back." He pulled his phone out to show Anne, who laughed in disbelief. "Oh, but it doesn't end there. He _called_ me. This morning. Mary was laughing it up in the background while he's going on about how it's about time, which, thank you, I know it is, and how he's always known it was you, which, again, _I know_. And yet... I couldn't help smiling and laughing with him because he's right."

Anne stopped laughing and looked up, her expression a mixture of delight, contentment, and, if Gilbert wasn't wrong...

"Hey, I um..." Anne took a breath. "Speaking of things I should have said years ago... I love you, Gilbert."

Gilbert's heart tripped over itself several times. "Well, please allow me to apologize for taking far too long to say it, as well: I love you, Anne."

Anne wrapped her arms around Gilbert's neck, pulling him in for a very exuberant kiss. _Well, better late than never, and better here than a hotel hallway,_ Gilbert thought as he pulled her as close as he could given their relative positions. Anne swung her legs up into his lap so that neither of them would have to crane their necks, and for the second time in as many days, Gilbert pulled Anne up into his lap. Instead of any surprised noise, she made a satisfied but still impatient one. One of her hands was tangled in his hair, the other grasping the back of his shirt, while his hands were still on her hips, fingers not quite digging in, but certainly not about to let her go.

Several minutes of breathless, excited, and increasingly heated tonsil hockey later, Gilbert pulled away just enough to talk, his lips still brushing Anne's. "Sorry. Don't want to get too carried away."

"Uh- _huh_. Tell me another one," Anne murmured, punctuating her remark with another kiss.

Gilbert leaned back enough that Anne could see him roll his eyes. "You know what I mean. There's still a lot more we have to talk out."

"I hate it when you're right," Anne sighed, trying to move back to the couch from Gilbert's lap. He didn't let her move, though, and for the moment, she wasn't going to complain. "Look, I'm really sorry. About last night. Not the part where we made out on the balcony, of course, but for—for messing with you. For having the rest of my drink. For making you think... whatever you thought, but I know it wasn't good."

"You say that like I didn't put you in a shitty position. I could have just actually played along with the game and just talked to you later, or, you know, asked you out like a decent, normal guy would." Gilbert shook his head.

Anne laughed quietly. "You are the absolute _definition_ of decent save for that momentary aberration, which, given the stupid games I've played in order to avoid my feelings, is no less than I deserve. And as far as normal goes, well, I don't think we ever will be, so there goes that." She shrugged.

"Ha. Fair." Gilbert stared into Anne's eyes. "Well, something else I should have told you forever ago but didn't because I didn't want you to run away? You, Anne, are breathtakingly beautiful, and your passion makes you only more so." His smile faltered just a bit. "I've had years to think about how I'd tell you that, from when I tried to cheer you up after the, ah, pixie cut incident, to... well, last night, I guess."

Anne was temporarily at a loss for words. Gilbert had never failed to compliment her brains, her passion and effort, her interests. Honestly, that had already had her half in love with him before she knew it. While it seemed rather clear that he found her pretty wholly attractive, to hear him say it out loud after so long was on a different level, and it felt very nice. "I... Well, to say I've always found you extremely hot seems pretty inelegant after that."

"And yet, you're not gonna hear me complaining." Gilbert's expression conveyed that Anne wasn't telling him anything new, but that it was still special coming from her.

Anne played with the curls just above his neck for a few moments as she thought, her expression turning contemplative. "I should have figured this all out a lot earlier than I did. I... Well, you know that foster care is a roll of the dice a lot of the time. Most of the homes weren't bad. I'd say half were actually pretty nice, honestly. But all that picking up and leaving... Honestly, there are still days where I wake up with that feeling in the pit of my stomach because that was my life. But with you..." She cleared her throat, her words thick with emotion. "With you, I'm safe. You didn't have to like me. You didn't have to notice me. But you did. Trusting that has been one of the hardest things in my life. And yet, trusting _you_ was just automatic. You understand me in ways that even Diana doesn't. And the thought of losing that, because that's what I've been conditioned to expect..." Anne choked on a sob. "The stuff about feeling like I'm not good enough also played a part, but less than I made it out to be, because at least that was rational."

 _Winnie..._ Gilbert looked stricken. "I'm more sorry about that than I can say, Anne. I really—"

Anne shook her head. "You did what any sane person would do: you dated the person who actually showed interest because you thought you could make it work. I get it. I don't blame you for taking completely reasonable actions. I just... What else can I say but I'm sorry? I let my fears get in the way."

Gilbert put a hand on her cheek. "Okay, but can you say that you would have turned me down if I'd asked you out instead? I get that you'd have stuff to work through either way, but I could have just asked you out, and I didn't. I am not going to let you take this all on you, because it's not—I have been beating myself up nightly for the last few weeks thinking about every stupid, horrible choice I made. If the past needs to be taken into account, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it, but here and now, because you trust me to tell you the truth, I am telling you that _your mistakes don't matter to me_. What matters is that you feel happy and safe with me here and now. _That's_ the truth, Anne. I've got you, and I am _not_ letting you go." He held her as she sobbed silently into his neck, admitting more quietly, "You're not the only one afraid of losing people, Anne. When I thought that you were turning me down last night—and don't you _dare_ blame yourself for that again; we've already established that _both_ of us played that incredibly poorly—I felt like I'd just been hit by a truck. Twice. But you're here and so am I, and we've made out and said I love you, so I'm pretty sure that means we're stuck together from here on out."

Anne coughed out a laugh and sat up, wiping her eyes. "Stuck together from here on out? I believe Canada at least requires witnesses to the 'I love you' and the making out." She bit her lip nervously.

"And someday in the not-incredibly-distant future, Canada's requirements will be fulfilled," Gilbert promised her. "But for now, I think it's enough that you and I know that."

Anne nodded. "That, it is," she agreed before leaning in for another kiss.

* * *

Gilbert looked across the table at Anne. She looked out the window, but she smiled at the feeling of his thumb running across her knuckles.

He'd been worried when she'd seemed to tense on waking up. Her explanation made sense, though, and the few moments he'd stolen (not that she'd protested much other than citing hunger) after she'd agreed to this brunch date had been enough to convince him that he wasn't still asleep, and that everything was fine.

The thought that, at least in the short term, waking up next to Anne wouldn't be a daily occurrence caused a brief frown, but given the flood of emotions and revelations over the last couple days, having their own separate spaces to process for a bit wouldn't be terrible. And really, her staying over unscheduled had led to him waking up next to Anne clad in one of his t-shirts and a pair of basketball shorts. That, on top of finding her tucked into his side at 6:45 when his body was used to waking up... Well, he'd tell her later. Maybe the next time she stayed over. Or maybe after they got back to his apartment in a bit, depending on how impatient he was feeling.

"What's going on in that brain of yours?" Anne wanted to know.

Gilbert squeezed the fingers of the hand he held and stretched his other arm out to take Anne's free hand. "Still just sort of processing what's happened in the last forty eight hours," he answered.

One side of Anne's mouth lifted in a rueful smile. "Same. It's still just… I'm still not sure I believe that all of it happened. I know it did, I mean…" She shook her head. "I'll be able to think better when I've had breakfast. And coffee," she added as the waitress set down their coffee in front of them. Anne closed her eyes and took a few sips.

Gilbert laughed into his own coffee. "Yeah, maybe best to just take it easy for a bit. Let the breakfast date just be a breakfast date."

"Okay, well… you… made a judgy face when I ordered my breakfast. Tell me why?" Anne wanted to know.

Gilbert's expression shifted rapidly from curious to exasperated to bashful. "Sorry. It's nothing to do with you. I try not to be elitist about it, but really… I lived in a small farming town all my life. The stuff they use in big cities is never gonna beat the homemade stuff. So I _might_ have been a _little_ affronted when you ordered your french toast with blueberry compote that is most assuredly _not_ homemade."

"Ah, I see." Anne crossed her arms and sat back, smiling playfully. "So, you're an _elitist_ research doctor farm boy hottie. And here, I thought you couldn't surprise me anymore."

"Oh, that's a dangerous assumption," Gilbert laughed.

The waitress arrived with their plates. Anne tucked in, while Gilbert set about getting his eggs and toast the way he liked them. Anne watched him with amused interest while she ate, taking a break to sip her coffee once Gilbert started eating.

"Okay, you: what's the look for?" Gilbert asked between bites. He hadn't realized he was quite so hungry, but he hadn't eaten as much as he'd thought last night; he'd been nervous, himself.

Anne gave him a sidelong smile. "You, my darling, have just graduated to _hypocritical_ elitist research doctor farm boy hottie."

Gilbert blinked incredulously. " _Excuse_ you? Hypocritical?!"

"You just spread a little packet of _the_ most processed orange marmalade on that toast!" Anne crowed.

Gilbert was lost for words for a moment while Anne waited for his defense with the cutest grin plastered broadly across her face. "Okay, first off, citrus doesn't grow this far north."

Anne tossed her head. "There's a farm that grows it in greenhouses in Cavendish and sells it around the island at farmer's markets. Try again."

Gilbert sighed. "Bash has a taste for the stuff. Mary makes fun of him mercilessly for it, growing up where he did, but the man's love for mangoes—" Gilbert made air-quotes "—'far and away eclipses his love for citrus', so he orders the mangoes and Mary buys the most mass-produced orange marmalade she can find, and we all shake our heads in shame and bewilderment and eat it anyway. _Now will you please stop laughing at me?_ "

"When you prove that you're not trying not to smile yourself," Anne told him as she took another bite of her french toast. "Come on, you know you love that I know you well enough to find things like this to tease you about."

Gilbert took a deep breath. "Oh, very much. But at least I have someone else to help me tease Bash about that now?" He raised an eyebrow.

Anne nodded vigorously. "Absolutely. This makes no sense whatsoever. That's why I was laughing, by the way."

"Ah, well…" Gilbert popped the rest of his toast into his mouth. "So… what your plan for the rest of the day?"

Anne rolled her eyes. "Homework. I have been utterly useless the last two days, and while I'm lucky enough not to have class on Mondays this term I still have three two-pagers due tomorrow." She popped the last of her french toast in her mouth. "You?"

"Nice thing about research is that that at least runs on a bit more of a flexible schedule. Alas, being a TA… less flexible. I have a section to teach tomorrow, and labs to grade before that." Gilbert sighed and flagged the waitress down for the check. Anne opened her mouth to protest, but just as quickly held her tongue. Gilbert had insisted on this being his treat, this being their first official date and all. Anne had agreed only with the promise that she'd cook the next time. (And pay the one after that, not that Gilbert was aware of that yet.)

As they walked out of the restaurant, Anne's hand swung into Gilbert's. He linked their fingers together. Each kept sneaking peeks at the other, their smiles growing in response to the other's.

Finally, things were working out.

* * *

Anne was gathering her things, alternating between businesslike and agonizingly slow. Gilbert was hardly even half-pretending to grade papers when Anne finally walked over to him to say goodbye. She wrapped her arms around him as he stood, clasping her hands behind his neck as Gilbert's came to rest with one between her shoulders and the other at the small of her back. Anne stretched up to give him a short peck, only for Gilbert to pull her in as close as he possibly could. _I have you, and I am not letting go. Not now; not ever._

Anne placed a hand on Gilbert's cheek, running a finger lightly between his ear and the corner of his jaw. In response, Gilbert nudged at her lips, unable to suppress an excited grin when Anne's lips parted and her tongue met his. Anne grabbed the back of his shirt again, trying to pull them closer even though it wasn't at all possible. Somewhere in the back of her mind, it registered that Gilbert's hands had also found purchase in her shirt. It also registered that her willpower to leave was rapidly being replaced with the knowledge that she was going to quite happily stay if this went on any longer. Slowly, she drew back, her kisses growing shorter and shorter.

"Anne…" Gilbert complained, causing her to laugh.

"That's my name," she agreed happily. A little more seriously, she insisted, "I do have to go, though. It's not that I don't want to stay, it's that if I do, I will once again be useless the rest of the day, even if I don't stay very long." Anne sighed. "But, let's be honest, it wouldn't be a short stay. Because after years of us not happening, well…"

"…Well?" Gilbert's grip on Anne's waist tightened.

Anne went up on her toes and gave him a quick peck. "Well, for starters, I know that you've been looking at me the same way I've been looking at you, and it is _far_ from innocent. And then there's the wandering hands—both of ours, mind you—and I am not complaining, believe me, but you don't need to say a word for me to know that we're both thinking the same thing, and it has absolutely nothing to do with homework."

"And you're suggesting… that the solution is to leave and get the homework done?" Gilbert's expression clearly said _I'm not sure I follow this logic and I definitely don't like where this is going._

"I'm not suggesting that; I'm saying that getting my homework done today is non-negotiable. What I _am_ suggesting is that getting the work out of the way is going to make the play that much more enjoyable, you know?" Anne gave him an extremely warm look and brushed her thumb up and down the back of his neck. "And anyway, I seem to have left my ravioli in your fridge, and there's no way you're going to eat it, so I guess I'll just have to come back before it goes to waste." She checked the microwave clock. "I should be back in time for a late dinner. If… that's agreeable."

"Not as agreeable as you staying," Gilbert told her, stopping the protest both of them knew was coming with a kiss. "However, as that is not an option and because you are, much to my chagrin, correct about undone work being a distraction and, much to my amusement, correct about me tossing your ravioli should it pollute my fridge another night, I think we have a plan." He drew her in for another kiss.

"Gil, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this does involve letting me go." Anne sighed as Gilbert groaned quietly. "Alright, on three. One… two…" Anne surged up and kissed Gilbert as hard as she could, drawing back after a couple seconds. "Three," she finished quietly, pulling Gilbert's hands from her waist.

Gilbert pulled her hands up to his lips and gave them a long kiss before releasing them, leaving Anne with a longing stare that she returned in equal measure. "See you tonight," she told him softly before leaving, shutting the door behind her.

Feeling surprisingly clear-headed for the promise, Gilbert actually started in on the stack of labs in front of him.

**Author's Note:**

> I swear to god, the one where they get married WILL see the light of day at some point. When I finish it. Which I am on track to do. Sometime this decade. ^^; (More like this month or next.) It's just much slower to write than any of the rest of these have been.


End file.
